Thriving after a divorce is not just a possibility; it’s a reality. Remember that it is within your reach, even when it feels like an unattainable goal. This journey is about discovering a new, fulfilling life for yourself.
Divorces are incredibly stressful times, even if it’s all smooth sailing and both parties parted ways on good terms. The resolution of something that you thought would be forever can be worrying and upsetting. But add into the mix a contested divorce, a lengthy process that is taking its toll on you, and you can see why the phrase “surviving and thriving” seems like a juxtaposition.
But it isn’t impossible. It might not be easy, but thriving during divorce is possible, and this post will show you how.
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Grieve
The loss of a marriage, of the love of your life, and the life you thought you’d have forever isn’t something to be glossed over or brushed aside. You will be experiencing a loss. Even if it’s not the loss of a person through death, it’s the end of the road or a chapter of your life, and you need to give yourself time to come to terms with it.
Use this time to allow yourself to feel all your feelings about the situation, move through things, and overcome any grief and sadness so that you can approach things with a level head and find some type of closure.
Take some time out by yourself, cry, scream, hit the pillow, go to the gym, thrash it out with friends, or do whatever you need to do to express your emotions. It will be good for you.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
All feelings are valid in a divorce, and you’re allowed to feel as many different emotions as you want. Even if they seem contradictory. If you want to thrive, you need to acknowledge that you will have a range of feelings about what will happen or is happening. You’re allowed to be sad, happy, worried, fearful, and everything in between. You’re allowed to not feel strong or not want to do this. And you’re allowed to feel regret and resentment; they’re all valid.
Acknowledging these feelings is a crucial step in your healing process, and it’s okay to feel this way. Your emotional journey is important. You are not alone in this, and your feelings should be expressed to hlpe you cope.
Denying your feelings during a divorce can lead to confusion and hinder your progress. It’s crucial to acknowledge and process your emotions, as it helps you overcome the emotional baggage that a divorce can bring.
Self Care
Self-care is not just a luxury during divorce; it’s a necessity. You need to be caring for your physical and mental health, and self-care means treating yourself. Even small treats can boost your quality of life and mental health and help cheer you up in what might otherwise feel like a bleak time. Stressful divorces aren’t fun for anyone involved, and they will take a toll on you, but indulging in self-care, giving yourself what you need, be it a girl’s trip away, a spa day, a pedicure, or anything else, you can give yourself that small boost you need.
Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential for your well-being, and you deserve it. By prioritizing self-care, you are taking control of your well-being and empowering yourself to navigate this challenging time. Self-care is an indulgence, it’s a powerful tool that can help you regain control and thrive during this difficult period.
Get Professional Advice
You need a good divorce lawyer; that’s a given. You need someone who can fight your corner and be there every step of the way to support you, even when you might not feel you can support yourself. Your lawyer can be your right-hand man through this, ensuring that even though the going is really tough, you are getting what is fair and just, and you aren’t losing out.
On top of this, talking to a divorce coach can offer an additional layer of support. While your lawyer can navigate the legal complexities of fighting in the courts during divorce, a divorce coach can provide practical help, emotional support, and guidance for your future, enabling you to make the best of this time. Because the more you can get into place now, the better your life will be once the divorce is finalized.
Explore Yourself
Take this time to explore yourself. As a newly single person, your passions, hobbies, and what you want and don’t want will help you find a new path and way in life that can benefit your mental and physical health.
Why not try a new sport, change your look, take up a new hobby, do something you’ve never done before, or take that long vacation? You can do anything and everything or even nothing at all if you want. But taking the time to rediscover who you are as a role outside of a relationship can be massively beneficial and prepare you for the next chapter of your life.
Live Well
If your divorce turns out to be pretty heinous, then taking care of yourself is something you should focus on. The easiest way to do this to help you thrive and not just survive by the skin of your teeth is to ensure you have a well-balanced, healthy diet that supports your body. It means getting some form of exercise and ensuring you get a decent night’s sleep as much as possible. It’s the small habits you put in place that will enable you to be at your best during a horrible divorce and to ensure that the stress doesn’t consume you whole. Living well during divorce means addressing your diet, exercising levels, getting enough sleep, finding time for relaxation, engaging in activities you enjoy, and maintaining a positive mindset.
Express Yourself and Let It Out
We discussed feeling your feelings and grieving through the process. An essential part of thriving during divorce is expressing these feelings properly and sharing the load. This means talking to people about how you feel so you can get things out and express yourself clearly. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up; share them with someone you trust. Talking to family and friends can be a good outlet for sharing your feelings, or you can talk to a therapist or divorce coach, who can be a sounding board for your feelings and rantings on the divorce.
Talking to family and friends can be a good outlet for sharing your feelings, or you can talk to a therapist or divorce coach, who can be a sounding board for your feelings and rantings on the divorce.
Don’t Make Rash Decisions
Whatever you do, don’t take the bait in heated situations. If your ex is harassing you or trying to provoke you to do you or saying something you shouldn’t, no matter how it might be, it won’t get worse during this time and will only serve to make you worse no matter what they do. Instead, remove yourself from the situation and get some clarity before responding if it needs a response. Messy divorces can be pretty traumatic for all involved. If things head down this route, you need to be able to remove the temptation to respond inappropriately or even start something yourself, even if they’re pushing you there.
Don’t Look Back
A divorce is the finalization of something that isn’t your past. It ins’t your future. If you want to survive and thrive during your divorce, you must focus on the end goal. Focus on what can happen and what life will look like once you get through this stage. It’s just a temporary place you need to be right now. Focus on the future can allow you to envision your new life and prepare yourself to live once the divorce is finalized.
Appreciate The Small Things
If you’re feeling yourself getting dragged down, take some time to look at the positives in life. They might only be small, but practicing gratitude can help you retain a positive attitude and survive this period.
It might be that someone smiled at you, making you feel good, or they complimented you. You might have gotten the last of your favorite pastry on the way to work, or your morning coffee was especially good today. The good things in life don’t always have to be big dramatic gestures, but remembering the good in your life can be a powerful tool in moving forward with a healthy mindset, no matter how ugly things might be with your divorce.
Laugh
Laughter is the best medicine for anything (well, that and sleep). But being able to laugh, release stress, and have fun is vital for a healthy mind and good disposition. Have a chuckle at a fun video you saw on social media. Laugh at your friends doing something silly. See your favorite comedian. Or watch a comedy film, whatever you enjoy. But whatever you do, don’t forget to laugh and enjoy your life. It will help.
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