At the beginning of each school year, your kids have a chance for a fresh start. And you, their most important teacher, are key to their success. Here’s what you need to know in order to help your teen have a great school year.
This article is written by Fern Weis
For more on this topic, check out the full Back To School collection
Teens are different
You’re not parenting a 7-year old. Your teen wants to be in charge of his time and choices, but he still has a lot to learn. You need to be on hand to help with skills like problem-solving and decision-making. That’s ‘help’, not do it for him.
Help Your Teen by Giving them time to decompress after school
One of the things a group of 8th grade girls said bugs them is when they are picked up from school and their parent (usually mom) immediately asks them about their day. They’ve just spent seven hours in school and would like to think about something else. So sit tight. If you play your cards right, information will be forthcoming. Here are some tips for helping them decompress, ease anxiety, and more!
Encourage teen to teacher communication
It’s time for your teen to be his own advocate. This takes courage, and is an important life skill that will serve him well in the adult world. If there’s a problem with a grade, encourage him to talk to the teacher. Same thing if he needs extra help. He won’t want mom and dad on line with him at college, or calling the boss about a performance review. Now is the time to develop that skill.
Help Your Teen with Preparation, routines and limits
This goes for homework, sleep, social media/screen time, sports, lessons and socializing. You’re not a prison warden, or standing there with a timer, but… you know very well that there needs to be a balance. And, as the parent of a teen, it’s time for brainstorming and compromise in some of these areas if you want to see any results.
Back-to-school internet contracts can be an excellent idea. Your own Internet provider likely already provides parental controls, but an internet contract serves to set expectations, responsibilities and consequences both you and your teens agree on together. Alternatively, check if there are special packages tailored specifically for parents with children and teens from your current provider.
Focus on the big picture, too
With college in the back of your mind, you may be putting extraordinary attention on grades. Of course they are important; but that also sends the message that grades are the only things that count during middle and high school. There’s lots of life learning to do if your kids are going to be successful in college and beyond. Are they curious and courageous? Do they show concern for others? How responsible are they for themselves (from laundry to behavior)? And remember, they don’t need to be at an Ivy League school in order to be successful.
Even a straight A student may not be socially and emotionally prepared to be successful in college. Now, this new school year, is the time to get back to the basics. When their character is strong, all the rest will follow.
Additional Resources to Help Your Teen
Back to School Tips – For an Easier, Calmer Transition
New School Year and Educational Technology
7 Life Strategies Your Child Needs Before College
For more on this topic, check out the full Back To School collection
Featured Contributor: Fern Weis
Fern Weis is a Parent Coach and Family Recovery Coach. She helps parents of tweens, teens, and young adults who are going through difficult situations – from homework battles to addiction recovery – and all points in between. Fern works with parents to nurture the parent-child relationship, improve communication, and set firm and loving boundaries. Parents learn to confidently prepare their children to reach their potential and be successful through life’s challenges. Fern is regularly interviewed on Change Your Attitude…Change Your Life (WOR710 NYC), and is a contributor to Huffington Post and Ridgewood Moms.
- Website: fernweis.com
- Facebook: @YourFamilyMattersCoach
- Instagram: @Fern.Weis
