Karissa Tunis

Traits and Symptoms of SPD

According to WebMD.com, “Sensory Processing Disorder is a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving and responding to information that comes in through the senses.” I have read studies that say anywhere from 1 in 20 kids, to as many as 1-6 kids, struggle with SPD. But no matter the correct number, it seems to be growing. Whether by diagnosis or by educating parents to have their children tested, it seems SPD affects a lot of people around us. Continue reading below for an in-depth look into the symptoms of SPD….

Toeing the Line of Special Needs and How to Find Balance as a Special Needs Family

My daughter B has a sensory processing disorder that impacts the way she experiences the world. B is not autistic, at least not by today’s standards. But many of her sensory and anxiety issues are typical of autism. Until recently, children presenting her behaviors remained unclassified and untreated because in so many ways, B is “normal”. She’s highly articulate, charming, and smart as a whip. She also couldn’t pull a shirt over her head until she was nearly five and only recently began walking on her heels. She will go from the happiest kid in the room to a sobbing mess in a nanosecond because of a loud noise or an open banana – apparently bananas are the foulest smelling things on the planet. Continue reading below to learn how to find balance as a special needs family….

Recognizing Separation Anxiety Disorder

“My stomach hurts.” “I can’t sleep;” “Can you close my closet?” “Can I just sleep with you?” Sound familiar? You are not alone – and neither is your child. Obviously, all children have times of anxiety when leaving their parents, or meeting new people, or going to a sleepover for the first time. Most will even go through a period of wanting to sleep in your room. But most toddlers or young kids grow out of that. What they don’t generally do is stay awake all night long, miss school, throw random tantrums about leaving you; or turn down sleepovers with their close friends. What they don’t generally do is bring that anxiety into the school years. Continue reading below to learn how recognizing separation anxiety disorder can better help you understand your child and their needs; and find out how to best help your child through this….

Curiosity or Anxiety? How to Identify Anxiety in Children

Kids are curious. Very curious. And we like that, we want that, we encourage that. Curiosity leads to interest, to learning, to an engaged child. But what if it leads to something else? Is that curiosity actually masking anxiety? Continue reading below to discover how you can identify anxiety in children through the questions that they ask.

This article is written by Dana Baker
For more on this topic, check out the full Child Behavior and Mental Health collections

HOW TO IDENTIFY ANXIETY IN CHILDREN THROUGH THEIR QUESTIONS

It took me a while to notice, to see that there was something else going on in my little girl’s head – to see that her questions were morphing into something slightly different. When her “how does or what is” shifted into more “what if’s”. What if this happens, what if that happens.

What if’s can hide – or reveal – fears. My daughter needed to know what’s happening, when. Change of plans agitated her; then she’d wonder what if it doesn’t go as planned? What if something goes wrong?

Many anxious kids have good imaginations and yes, she has a huge imagination! I just love all the creativity bursting out of her. I want to bottle it up sometimes so I can let it out and breathe some joy into the world. But when her imagination starts filling in questions with worst-case scenarios, I think uh-oh. Now, what do I do?

HOW TO HELP AN ANXIOUS CHILD

Well, it turns out what we don’t want to do is tell her not to worry. Honestly, that helps practically nobody, ever. In fact when I tried that — because of course, it’s the first thing I did – she just took the imagined outcome further and further. Finally, I realized that instead of my just saying “it’s ok” and “don’t worry about it”, I should take another tack.

So I try walking her through whatever the fear is to get her to reassure herself. Sometimes if it’s easy, I just talk her through the fear to show her she is ok and does have the strength to handle it. Often she’s not feeling confident or is out of her comfort zone. I say, “Looks like you’re pretty worried about this, what can we do to help calm you down? “ Sometimes she can bring herself back with that. Sometimes we have to dance or stomp it out. And other times it comes down to breathing. Just breathing with her. In and out, ever so slowly.

So notice the questions your child is asking; ask some of your own. There are many, many answers.

But expecting them to just get over it, isn’t one of them.

How To Get Your Child Through An Anxiety Attack

As a parent, having a child with anxiety can be very hard at times. Your heart breaks for them, and yet you are also feeling the effects from the anxiety. Here are two incredibly helpful articles to shed light on how to best help your child during and after the anxiety attack. Best of luck – you got this!

In this article Dana provides insight into how you can help your child cope with their anxiety and shift your family dynamics

Here are expert tips for helping your child calm down in the midst of their anxiety and panic attacks

For more on this topic, check out the full Child Behavior and Mental Health collections

Featured Contributor: Dana Baker

Dana Baker is a writer, editor, not-so-perfect mom of two, and a Parent and Teen Coach. She help families reconnect and find a way around the walls that cause such isolation and dysfunction in these years. Dana offers advice from the trenches, a non-judgmental ear and tips/feedback based on the science of psychology and the reality of parenting. Read her blog and follow her on social media.

- - Website: parentinginreallife.org
  - Facebook: @parentinginreallife
  - Twitter: @Danaparenting

Checklist for a Family Living with SPD

Rachael shared with us her personal and emotional story about her two daughters that have SPD (sensory processing disorder) and anxiety. You can read her full story about their family living with SPD here. And for your convenience, we have put together a free printable checklist for a family living with SPD. This highlights what has helped Rachael and her daughters cope with SPD and anxiety.

Print this out and keep on hand as a valuable resource. Hopefully it will inspire you to try something new, or provide you with some fresh insight. Living and caring for someone that has SPD can be challenging. But the great news is that there are many wonderful resources and tips that can help make life much easier!

Best wishes!…

A Family Living with Sensory Processing Disorder

I wish I could start my story 19 years ago when my oldest daughter, Michaela, was a baby, but she went undiagnosed until she was 13 years old. It was not until my youngest daughter, Angie (now 10 years old), was three, that we realized what sensory processing disorder (SPD) was.

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The Misunderstood Child: Sensory Processing 101

A typical morning in my home begins with the words “My clothes hurt me. They are too loose. I need new clothes.” As a result, I begin the search for the “right” clothes for my 4 year old daughter. After much time, many tears, lots of tight hugs, and a good dose of frustration; she begins her day in the same dress she wore the day prior, and many days prior to that. The process of getting dressed, which seems simple to most, is the biggest challenge my child faces on a daily basis. This is because she has a sensory processing disorder. Read below to get the scoop on Sensory Processing 101, discover what your child is actually feeling, and learn how you can help your child better cope. …

How to Calm Down From an Anxiety Attack

She’s trembling, she can’t breathe, and she’s hyperventilating; seemingly all at the same time. She panics, you panic; welcome to the world of anxiety attacks. They can come on suddenly and without warning to people who suffer from anxiety. Although stress and anxiety exacerbate the likelihood of having a panic attack, panic attacks can happen at any time – even during sleep. And they can be super scary – for both the person having it, and the one witnessing it. When it’s your child who is out of control like that, it’s especially easy to be scared and to feel powerless. But we aren’t, and they aren’t either. Read below to find out how to calm down from an anxiety attack.

This article is written by Dana Baker
For more on this topic, check out the full Child Behavior and Mental Health collections

Anxiety Diagnosis

Years ago my daughter Kylie was diagnosed with Anxiety and ADHD. It’s estimated that 60% of people with ADHD have a coexisting condition; and for about 50% of adults and 30% of children with ADHD also have an anxiety disorder. Although each condition has unique symptoms, sometimes they mirror each other, which can make it difficult to know whether you have ADHD, curiosity, or anxiety; or even a mix of each.

I can tell you that it was truly agonizing to see Kylie in the throes of an anxiety attack. It still is, but they are rare and short now, thanks both to her medicine and to us figuring out the best way to move her through an attack once it starts.

First of all, it’s critical that you accept the attack as real. The dizziness, sweating, chest pain, racing heart—all of it is real. Basically her body is having a fight or flight false alarm. It feels to her as if she is dying because the physiological changes are actually occurring. Don’t tell her that it’s just in her head or even that she’s ok, because she definitely isn’t feeling anywhere near “OK”.

In fact she’s not able to think clearly, her brain is also affected–by racing thoughts, excessive worry and this feeling of impending doom. So what can you do? How do you calm down from an anxiety attack? Start by holding her close and being a lifeline she can cling to and tell her that it is just a false alarm, that it’s an anxiety attack and that she will get through it and that you’re going to help her.

Below are a few things that have really worked for my daughter.

Calming Anxiety Over the Phone

First of all, if I’m on the other end of a panicked phone call, I always tell her to find a quiet place if she’s not in one already. Then I start with a couple of really big, slow breaths until she can hear me above all the noise in her head. After that, I conjure up my most calm and soothing “meditation” voice. You know, the one that sounds like it’s melting? I tell her that I’ve got her, that she’s having a panic attack and she will get through it just like other ones she’s had. I do this because in the midst of an attack, all positivity goes out the window and reminding her that she can take control and that it will pass soon helps get her head in a better place.

Then I walk her through some slow breathing. I tell her to breathe and to find the touch points of where she is, what can she see, hear, smell, or feel. You can’t do much more than talk someone through it if it’s via the phone. So take a breath yourself and settle in for a few minutes because it may take a little while until you can calm her down enough to get to the root of the issue. Trust me, I know how hard it is not to just suck her anxiety, fear and panic into yourself and your own tone, but if you aren’t the uber calm mom, you will just wind her up more. So take a big, conscious step back emotionally if you can.

If you can’t, pass the phone to someone who can. Seriously.

Calming Anxiety in Person

Since Kylie is a teenager and has been through these, often that’s all it takes to get her settled enough to go on with her day. When she was younger it took us both longer to cope; and there were times I would have to go pick her up. When you’re physically together, calming her down is a bit easier and a bit quicker, depending on the severity of the issue of course.

This is what I do: I meet her where she is. So if that’s lying on the floor of the bathroom, I lie down next to her. I tell her softly that it’s ok, that whatever it is, I’ve got her. I put my arms around her. Or, if I can’t do that, I hold her hand or touch her back –whatever I can physically do to touch her, to ground her again. I tell her to look at me so she has something calm to focus on, to bring her back to the moment and space where she is. I just hold on, tell her to breathe with me, to match my rhythm of breath.

When you slow your breath to match someone else’s your whole nervous system resets. When we are hugging or close enough I tell her to feel my heartbeat, to concentrate on that. Sometimes I just hug her until I can feel her give in, to relax into me. Lean into a hug like that and she’ll let go, she will unclench her straining, tense shoulders and feel them slide back down away from her ears. Simply put, her body and breath will attune to yours. Like magic.

Be The Source of Calm

Again, make sure you can be that source of calm, and help them feel safe. I remember one time in Yosemite when Kylie became upset. She started crying, something had bitten her, a lump was forming and she was in pain. I probably reacted by saying she’d be fine –which helped her not at all.

So then as the pain and the lump grew, so did a panic attack. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t catch her breath. So what did I do? I took on her anxiety and started ratcheting up the crazy. I was nowhere near the calm, meditation-voiced mom I needed to be. In fact, I had to step away and ask my sister to take over. Perhaps not my best parenting moment, but it was the right decision given my immediate and total lack of serenity. I simply wasn’t the person to help her right then.

Luckily my sister found her soothing, meditation voice and we all lived to tell the tale.

Coping Tools for How to Calm Down From an Anxiety Attack

Because kids are different, different techniques can help. Here are a few ideas to try. When you find something that works, keep it and use it. That routine, pattern and regular response can be calming in itself.

Stay with her and keep calm.
Move her to a quiet place.
Breathe with her, slowly.
Speak in short, simple sentences.
Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
Have her notice something she sees or smells.
Try distracting her with music
Have her look at you and say a few comforting things such as:
- “You can get through this.”
- “I am proud of you. Good job.”
- “Tell me what you need now.”
- “Concentrate on your breathing. Stay in the present.”
- “What you are feeling is scary, but it is not dangerous.”
- “You’ve got this and I’m with you.”

How to Calm Down After the Anxiety Attack

A word of caution: The worst part about panic attacks isn’t always the panic attack themselves. Sometimes, it is the fear that goes along it, the worry about having another panic attack. She may feel exposed and vulnerable and may start to avoid activities that she feels will trigger another attack. Unfortunately, this can often include school or extracurricular activities. You may even hear the term “homeschool” come out of her mouth. I know I did.

Try not to feed into that cycle. Let her know that this is how anxiety works. Explain that panic wants you to avoid things – but the more you avoid, the worse the panic grows. The best way to defeat the panic is to face it head on and continue with your life as normal, as hard as that can be.

It does get easier. For both of you.

For more on this topic, check out the full Child Behavior and Mental Health collections

Featured Contributor: Dana Baker

- Website: parentinginreallife.org
- Facebook: @parentinginreallife
- Twitter: @Danaparenting

What Color is Your Name? Synesthesia Tool Lets You See Your Name!

There is a form of synesthesia where people see letters and numbers as colors! It is a beautiful way to imagine the world, and it seems like it would automatically bring more personality to each and every name, word, or equation that you come across. (Would taxes be more enjoyable if they were more colorful??) Of course, the first question that comes to mind when learning about this phenomenon is, “What color is my name?” Luckily, there is a synesthesia tool created to let you discover and share just that!

What Color is Your Name?

Go HERE
Type your name
Save your image

I had fun looking up my family members’ names, and then looking up other words in general!

I also encourage you to spend some time browsing the synesthesia site and learning more about the topic! It is a fascinating project that is a great reminder of just how differently we see the world sometimes 🙂

Check out our FREE PRINTABLES library

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First: How to get through those Difficult Parenting Moments

An exasperated parent flops down on my couch. For the next hour they tell me how their child isn’t sleeping, isn’t listening, throws fits in stores, and the list goes on. They end by saying, “We have tried EVERYTHING!” I see the defeat on their faces, and it’s heartbreaking. I think about all the million and one things they have tried in the name of being good parents. The basic thought for many parents is: “I am supposed to know how to do this.” When things aren’t working well, no matter how hard they try, parents can secretly feel shame. Often plagued by thoughts such as: “Something is wrong with me.” “I’m not good enough.” Or, “I failed at the one thing I am supposed to innately know how to do.” Below is what I recommend to help get you through those difficult parenting moments.

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