The mornings are getting cooler. Stores are advertising back-to-school supplies and clothes. Argh! The first day of school is just around the corner. The summer weather persists for another month or two, but the ‘lazy’ days of summer must come to an end. And so the cycle of summer-to-school begins again. And as we all know, this time of year can unfortunately bring with it anxiety and fears. Continue reading below to help ease and calm down your child’s nerves. Instead, help them look forward to the school year and what is yet to come with these back to school tips!
This article is written by Fern Weis
For more on this topic, check out the full Back To School collection
Who’s Ready for Back to School?
Are you ready for the kids to go back to school? Are they ready? If you’re like my family, we had mixed reviews about the end of summer and the inevitable return to school. Why? Because we loved the fresh air and sunshine, earning money at a summer job, and taking a family vacation. After a while, though, we all longed for a little more, or different, structure and predictability.
Most kids are looking forward to being with their friends from school. Some relish the challenge of learning and achieving in the classroom. (I hope you have one of those kids!) Others need the structure and goal-oriented nature of school and extra-curricular activities.
So, how do you make the transition back to school easier on all of you?
[Read: Back to School – How to Help the Whole Family Adjust]
Shopping & Guidelines – Back to School Tips
Get excited about the shopping AND establish some guidelines. Going from store to store to store is not only exhausting, it’s a recipe for overwhelm and indecision. Make clear before you head out:
- What’s on your shopping list.
- What your budget is.
- How many stores you will go to.
Your time, money and patience are in limited supply. That’s reality. If your maximum number of stores is three, make sure your kids understand that by the time you get to the third store, a decision is expected, or the items are not purchased. It’s a great opportunity to discuss the pros and cons of what they need and want, to examine quality and quantity, and how to spend within their means (well, your means, if you’re paying for it).
If you shop online, these guidelines can apply. I still encourage you to build in a little shopping expedition. There’s a different energy to getting out of the house, and to using all your senses in the shopping experience.
In the end, the biggest piece of this is about setting expectations before you go. You can avoid a lot of aggravation with a little bit of preparation.
[Read: How to Set Expectations for Your Kids and Improve Child Behavior]
Consider the First Day of School
Buy something special for the first day. Even high-schoolers will appreciate this. Back in the days when we had far less, that new pair of shoes was a big deal. Most of you can provide these things all year long, so finding something special may take some thought. It doesn’t need to be big, like a smart phone or other expensive item. It could be an accessory that wasn’t part of the original need-to-have list, a gift certificate, a manicure, or something inspiring to hang in their locker.
[Read: 3 Ways to Prepare for the First Day of School]
Ease Back into Routines for School
Ease back into routines. Of course the first one that comes to mind is sleep and the dreaded alarm clock. Take the remaining days or weeks to gradually change bedtimes and waking-up times. What other routines can you begin to add back?
[Read: The Importance of Family Routines for Sanity and Creativity]
Calm Down Anxiety about School
Allow them to express any anxiety. Will I make the grades? Will I keep all my friends? What about new teachers? How do I fit in? Even if they have a good track record in these areas, they are likely feeling stressed about it and should be encouraged to express it. Above all, do not discount what they are feeling! They’re entitled to their feelings, whether you agree with them or not. This could be the time to talk (a conversation, not a lecture) about coping with stress. Let them know that there’s normal stress and stress overload, and you’re going to check in with them if you see signs of them moving into overload. They may protest, but they’ll also be relieved to know you have their back.
[Read: Parenting an Anxious Child – Feeling Safe is the End Game]
School Memories
Share your own stories about school. It wasn’t always fun. Your kids can appreciate the difficulties of school – both work and relationships – and be inspired by how you handled it. Growing up is confusing, and you are proof that you can live through these baffling times. Whether you liked learning or not, in hindsight you know it was (mostly) useful. And to quote the late Robin Williams, “Nothing I learned was wasted.”
For more on this topic, check out the full Back To School collection
Featured Contributor: Fern Weis
Fern Weis is a Parent Coach and Family Recovery Coach. She helps parents of tweens, teens, and young adults who are going through difficult situations – from homework battles to addiction recovery – and all points in between. Fern works with parents to nurture the parent-child relationship, improve communication, and set firm and loving boundaries. Parents learn to confidently prepare their children to reach their potential and be successful through life’s challenges. Fern is regularly interviewed on Change Your Attitude…Change Your Life (WOR710 NYC), and is a contributor to Huffington Post and Ridgewood Moms.
- Website: fernweis.com
- Facebook: @YourFamilyMattersCoach
- Instagram: @Fern.Weis
