Practical Positive Parenting Advice and Resources
Let me start by saying, I love Thanksgiving. I crave the sounds of a full house of family, the smells of the lovely side dishes I typically only take the time to make this time of year, and the warmth that radiates from the whole day. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie: these foods are Thanksgiving. This is one day into which food is completely and inextricably woven. As a registered dietitian, I will not allow “nutrition” to change that….
I love that this time of year has so many opportunities to enjoy delicious food! Whether it is an old family recipe (like this Melomakarona Recipe), or something new you are attempting from Pinterest; the colors, textures, aromas and flavors are truly a delight! Try this simple yet scrumptious cookie recipe for your next holiday party. Or have fun whipping up a batch with your little ones while listening to some holiday music, enjoy 🙂
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Some days I think I am doing it all wrong. We have no routine, no schedule. The boys eat when they are hungry, and then chow down on whatever I can make in less than a minute. Usually these meals happen on the couch so that we can continue to feed the ant family in our living room.
There is no specific nap time. No specific quiet time. No specific meal plans. And no specific activities. It all runs together in a loud and sticky whirlwind….
I came across a new phrase while reading the article Self Care Tips: Advice from Professional Clinicians, and I think it will really resonate with all of my fellow moms…Compassion Fatigue. Read below to find out what this is.
For more on this topic, check out the full Staying Healthy & Self Care collections
This phrase immediately caught my attention because in two words it uncovered one of the most difficult aspects of parenting. Each and every day we show compassion to our children. We try to change their lives for the better. We care about every tiny achievement and failure. And constantly caring can quickly lead to compassion fatigue if we are not taking care of ourselves.
How many moms are setting aside time for self-care? How many moms are taking what they need so that they can continue to give? And how many moms are powering through today, only to burn out tomorrow? How many moms feel like they are on the verge of everything falling apart each and every day?
I am writing this post to encourage you to move past the mom guilt and take the time that you need (yes… need) to become a better mother, wife, woman. It is easy for me to type the encouragement. It is easy for you to read the encouragement. The hard part is making it happen on a regular basis.
Self care doesn’t have to mean extravagant girls’ weekends and shopping binges. Self care is more about the day to day mindset and small things that you do to decrease your stress levels and refill your compassion tank.
The social workers in this post gave 31 great pieces of advice that I encourage you to check out. But there were 3 themes that stood out to me in this article…
Setting boundaries is not the same as shutting everyone out, but you need to know your limits. You train people how to treat you whether you realize it or not – your kids, your spouse, your friends, your family, your coworkers, and even acquaintances in your community.
We all feel better when we feel like we are in control. We like to know what to expect, and we like to feel security in knowing that we can affect the situation that we are in. A lot of time a lack of control comes from a lack of boundaries, which quickly leads to the feeling of always being stressed out and overwhelmed. Take the time to rethink the boundaries you have drawn in your life, and allow yourself to make different decisions moving forward.
Self care is something that needs to stay at the forefront of your mind. You need to be thinking about it when writing your to do lists and planning out time to do things that you enjoy. Our lives are very busy, and if self care is something that we only do when we have free time, it will never happen! It has to be something that we carve out time for.
Being aware of your feelings and giving yourself room to feel them is also hugely helpful. As moms, we tend to put on a brave face for our children and get into the practice of suppressing our emotions… I am so mad, but I can’t yell. I am so proud, but I don’t want to cry. And I think that is hysterical, but I can’t laugh at their poor behavior. Prioritizing your self care means that you need to let those emotions out eventually – swap stories with a friend, cry on your husband’s shoulder, or even write them down.
When I have not spent time with friends and family in a while, I notice a big difference in myself. It is easy to get stuck in the same routines – pick up kids here, drop them off here, run these errands, do this work, be home in time for naps and bedtime, etc. Trying to squeeze in activities and play dates just seems like it will be draining and take too much extra effort. However, seeing those friends is often therapeutic and energizing! It’s okay to put aside productivity now and then for the sake of the important relationships in your life.
You need people to lean on now and again throughout your life, and you will feel good when you are able to return the favor as well. It is easy to lose touch, and it is difficult to stay close. Don’t let the day to day stand in the way of nurturing yourself.
For more on this topic, check out the full Staying Healthy & Self Care collections
Last year I decided to do something a little different for the holidays. I asked everyone on my side of the family to give my children gifts of Experiences instead of Toys. In the end it worked out, but I probably should have given some examples or suggestions along with this request.
At the time we had our house listed for sale, and I could not handle the thought of more “stuff” needing to be organized for each showing. So the request was really made more-so for my sanity. However, in the end, I think my kids enjoyed it even more than I did!
This article is written by Karissa Tunis
For more on this topic, check out the full Gift Giving collection
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The delivery drivers are at our house A LOT throughout the entire year. Between Amazon shopping, work material deliveries for both my husband and I, and relying on our weekly Home Chef delivery, we sincerely appreciate our delivery drivers! And when the holiday season hits, the packages pour in even more frequently! Which is why I love the idea of setting out something small to show our appreciation and help make their day just a little bit easier… Scroll down for a free delivery driver printable!…
Right about now, your brain-computer is probably wheezing and spluttering as it tries to remember the perfect gift ideas you had for you kids while defending itself from the millions of new suggestions being thrown at it each second by online ads.
It’s easy to get caught up in the pre-Christmas marketing furore. But before grabbing a shiny, trending gadget or gizmo, just pause for a moment…
What do we really want to gift our children?
If you are after the loudest of unwrapping screams, then the number-one-best-seller may be the way to go. On the other hand, if you are looking for something that will nurture their imagination while having profound and long-lasting benefits for their social, physical, and cognitive development, then I recommend you consider the gift of free play.
This article is written by Neve Spicer
For more on this topic, check out the full Gift Giving and Winter Activities collection
Free play is the sort of unstructured play designed and led by kids themselves (when adults and screens are not interfering). Self-directed play is the time when children invent their own rules, play out fantasy roles, explore the world, and simply daydream.
While it’s easy to view this type of play as a distraction amidst other, more structured activities that have a focus on academics, athletics, or art classes, it is actually a vital part of childhood development.
Science has shown us that there are countless reasons why we need to ensure that our kiddos are getting their daily dose of unstructured fun.
Experts agree that free play can:
And this is just the tip of the iceberg! WeTheParents have compiled a whopping list of 43 benefits that come from free play, and scroll down for gift ideas to help encourage your child’s imagination!
When you look at your child’s daily schedule, is there a space for unstructured play? If not, your kiddo might be missing out on what is both a fun and enriching experience.
Despite the importance of child-led play, it is often falling to the wayside in favor of structured classes and athletic teams. After all, we want our kids to be academically well rounded with an impressive resume of organized activities under their belt. And there’s nothing wrong with that; kids deserve every opportunity we can give them. But perhaps it is time to pull back a little and allow children to reclaim some of their free time.
Essentially, you are looking for playthings that encourage creative, imaginative, and meaningful play.
Here are some tips to get you going:
Kids naturally live in their imagination. Fantastical costumes will provide them with the raw ingredients to fuel their make-believe role plays.
Consider avoiding outfits that are too prescriptive, eg, an Elsa dress which only really lends itself to reenacting Frozen, on loop forever! Instead, look for something that leaves space for your child to fill in the blanks. Trust me, they will. (Think knights, fairies, firemen, vets. )
Wooden frames and silk sheets make perfect materials for building large structures and dens. Of course, you can substitute these with different materials, so long as they enable your kids to easily build their make-believe castles, slumber-parties, and dragon caves. The quicker it is to build and pack away, the more it will get used. In fact, get it right and you’ll find that it becomes a staple in their daily play.
Dolls and figurines are a crucial element of free play for both boys and girls. Children construct imaginary scenes and then play them out vicariously through the dolls.
The simpler the features of the doll or figurine, the more scope the child has to ‘turn it into’ any person they want. Whereas a Batman figure may struggle to be anything other than, well, Batman.
Studies have shown that this type of play is therapeutic. Children use it to process difficult feelings and emotions. It also teaches early friendship and prepares them for caring roles and relationships in the future.
Both boys and girls love to build (and knock down). It is a great way to develop their eye-hand coordination and understanding of material qualities and structure. Try to mix it up with wood and stone as well as plastic.
Now you know the importance of free play and have a few ideas to get you started, perhaps your kiddos will get lost in their imaginations long after the magical festive season has ended.
And if you are opting to encourage more free play this Christmas, then keep it simple. You can gift the raw ingredients, but let your children create the story and fun themselves.
The sky’s the limit. (Except it isn’t!)
For more on this topic, check out the full Gift Giving and Winter Activities collection
Featured Contributor: Neve Spicer
Neve Spicer is the creator and editor of WeTheParents, the real parenting guide. As the mom of two wonderful kids, she shares her experience and knowledge with her fellow parents to make their journeys easier. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
Being a mom is truly an honor and a privilege; and it is an experience that I would never want to change for the world! However, it can be exhausting…. very exhausting… which is why I’ve put together this list of self care ideas for moms.
No matter what phase you are in – changing diapers dozens of times per day, chasing a strong-willed toddler around that never seems to understand the word “No”, running your elementary aged children from one activity to the next, or trying to keep up with your teens and their crazy social media accounts – it can be very overwhelming at times! Some phases of life may be more mentally, or physically, draining than others; but it is all wonderfully hard work….
Below is an article that I wrote a couple of years ago about my Anxiety when leaving the house. While I still can get these feelings, I have learned how to better cope. And now I have added an update at the end with a few tips that help me to relax more, and enjoy my Me Time….
Sitting around the dinner table can be boring for kids, but conversation starters can be a great way to keep them engaged and entertained! These Thanksgiving themed prompts are also fun for adults and older kids, and it is an easy way to bond, laugh, and learn more about each other.
You can print out multiple copies of this free Thanksgiving conversation starters printable to hand out to your guests. Or you can cut out the questions individually into strips and pass out, giving each person a different prompt. Or use these questions as a starting point, and then have everyone write down their own conversation starters, etc… Get creative and have fun!…