Practical Positive Parenting Advice and Resources
Thanksgiving is coming up and that means my children will have a full week off of school – yay! And shortly after that comes Christmas break, snow days (we live in the NorthEast), and too many days where it is simply too cold to leave the house. This year we will be staying close to home for much of the winter, so I need to make sure there is plenty for us to do together, especially on those family nights in at home!…
Practice Gratitude
Thankfulness… Gratefulness…
This time of year has many of us thinking about these two words. But what do they really mean to you and your family?
When I take the time to reflect on these words, I realize that they shift my focus. I find myself framing things in a more positive light and appreciating what I already have in my life. It is humbling to consider how much I already have instead of focusing on things that I wish for.
This article is written by Karissa Tunis
For more on this topic, check out the full Celebrate Thanksgiving collection
It is a helpful exercise to contemplate what you are deeply thankful for. Those things that you take for granted, but that bring you joy and fulfillment on a regular basis… My children, my family, my friends, feeling safe and secure in our own home, food on the table, clothes on our backs. The basics! Those simple things matter, and taking the time to appreciate them can bring us peace and appreciation – especially during a busy season of life.
And beyond those basics? Anything additional is really an added bonus!
Of course, I enjoy nice home decor, beautiful jewelry, and fancy dinners as much as the next person; but I certainly do not need them. They are a luxury that should be appreciated rather than taken for granted.
When we remove ourselves from our own bubbles, we remember that most of the world does not live like we do. Many people throughout the world get by with very little, and they still manage to live happy and fulfilling lives. Some of us (myself included) may have experienced firsthand the challenges of just scraping by, and it’s important to reflect on those experiences from time to time.
One of the best things we can do for our kids is to teach them to practice gratitude.
We can start teaching this valuable life lesson at a young age, and we can engrain this important life lesson in our kids from the beginning. If we all believed that life is a gift in and of itself, and the rest is just a bonus, our world could be a very different place!
Feeling grateful is the antidote to feeling entitled. And that’s something that we could all use a little dose of from time to time.
When I was 16 years old, I took a missions trip to Romania with a team of people from my church’s youth group. During our few days of travel, our plans changed, and suddenly we found ourselves living, not visiting – but actually living with children who were looked down on as some of the lowest in their society. We were at an orphanage. From first glance you would have thought it was a mix of young boys and girls, but we quickly discovered they were all girls up to about age 16.
We spent several mornings picking up the broken glass bottles from the yard that the drunks had tossed over the fence the night prior. We shared their meals of very little and unappealing simple food. And we used a hole in the ground for a toilet, took our cold showers as quick as possible, and played outside with only the toys we had brought them. It was very hard to keep composure at all times, and to not have a decent hotel room to go back to at night and regroup was emotionally difficult. We were there completely living in it 100%.
These children were at first very shy and insecure. But they had hearts of gold! They quickly took to us, and eventually offered us their only possession – a teddy bear that someone had donated over a year prior. We of course could not accept their sweet gesture, but it stuck with all of us. Here were children with absolutely nothing, and their greatest gift – this teddy bear (many still in their original wrappers) were being offered to us! How incredibly selfless these kids were, and how grateful they were that we came and cared.
One day we decided to take the children into town to McDonald’s for a happy meal. The whole outing was quite an ordeal, but we eventually made it. These children had never been on a school bus before, never traveled into the city, and most definitely had never enjoyed McDonald’s.
While sitting across from two of the girls that were very malnourished, I watched as they cautiously opened their happy meal bags. First they pulled out their french fries, which to them looked very foreign. But before either of them even took a bite, they offered one to me. I politely declined and encouraged them to try it. They both ate their fries between giggles. Once finished, they rolled up their bags to save their burgers for later.
Inside I was crying for them. The more nice things we tried to do for these children, the harder it became. I ended up using a translator to explain that the cheeseburgers would not last forever so they should go ahead and enjoy them now.
My trip was filled with many more moments like this. To us it’s something that is so simple, and yet often taken very much for granted. But to these girls, it was probably an experience they will always remember. And it will always remind me to practice gratitude myself.
Our hearts broke when we had to say good-bye at the end of our trip.
Returning home was not easy. Coming back to the United States with such privilege left me feeling incredibly guilty! As I slowly transitioned back into my old life, things were very different. I felt so guilty taking a hot shower for the first time, so I turned the water cold instead. Sitting on a toilet made me emotional, and I started crying when I drove past McDonald’s.
Eventually I transitioned back to my normal routine, but I still often think back to that entire experience. If you have ever lived without necessities, then you realize just how important they really are! The rest is just a bonus.
When my children are old enough, I hope to take a family missions trip similar to the one I experienced. It’s one thing to tell my kids that a lot of children around the world do not get to experience what they do, but it’s a completely different experience to show them that first hand.
I recently read an article that stated the “#1 thing that you can do to ensure you raise a good child, is to teach them to be grateful.” – WOW!!
As I have taken some time to reflect on this statement, and my own life, I am finding that point very powerful! If we each believed that life is a gift and everything in it is truly a blessing, how different would our world be?
I am a huge believer in teaching children manners, and at the root of that is a lot of gratefulness. Using your pleases and thank you’s, respecting other people and their belongings, being humble and kind, it all ties into being thankful and grateful.
This holiday season, I encourage you to look for ways to teach your children the meaning behind these powerful attributes. While I don’t expect you to jump on a plane and head to a struggling country, I encourage you to look for inspirations around you.
Click here to read a list I compiled of simple things you can do to teach your children to pay their blessings forward, and/or to be grateful for what they already have.
For more on this topic, check out the full Celebrate Thanksgiving collection
This time of year I love looking for ways to teach my children to give back, help others, and make a difference. I believe that if we can teach our children the value of meeting basic needs, and show them that necessities are essential and not to be taken for granted, then the rest just becomes extra blessings.
I want to teach my children to be thankful for what they have. To realize that not everyone is as lucky as they are. So when you are blessed to have more than you need in life, to share it with others and pay it forward.
My goal is to teach this throughout the entire year, but especially over the holidays! Thanksgiving is not just about eating turkey and shopping the Black Friday deals; but it is about truly being grateful for what we have in life, and helping others less fortunate enjoy it too. …
As you’re getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner, try this simple, fun, and interactive option for place settings! Make your guests feel extra special by simply printing out multiple copies of these Thanksgiving place cards, and write in each person’s name below the line so that Marie’s place setting will say, “Thankful for, Marie”
Then… you can also instruct your guests to write down what they are thankful for on the inside of their place setting, then go around the table and share.
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Let me start by saying, I love Thanksgiving. I crave the sounds of a full house of family, the smells of the lovely side dishes I typically only take the time to make this time of year, and the warmth that radiates from the whole day. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie: these foods are Thanksgiving. This is one day into which food is completely and inextricably woven. As a registered dietitian, I will not allow “nutrition” to change that….
I love that this time of year has so many opportunities to enjoy delicious food! Whether it is an old family recipe (like this Melomakarona Recipe), or something new you are attempting from Pinterest; the colors, textures, aromas and flavors are truly a delight! Try this simple yet scrumptious cookie recipe for your next holiday party. Or have fun whipping up a batch with your little ones while listening to some holiday music, enjoy 🙂
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Some days I think I am doing it all wrong. We have no routine, no schedule. The boys eat when they are hungry, and then chow down on whatever I can make in less than a minute. Usually these meals happen on the couch so that we can continue to feed the ant family in our living room.
There is no specific nap time. No specific quiet time. No specific meal plans. And no specific activities. It all runs together in a loud and sticky whirlwind….
I came across a new phrase while reading the article Self Care Tips: Advice from Professional Clinicians, and I think it will really resonate with all of my fellow moms…Compassion Fatigue. Read below to find out what this is.
For more on this topic, check out the full Staying Healthy & Self Care collections
This phrase immediately caught my attention because in two words it uncovered one of the most difficult aspects of parenting. Each and every day we show compassion to our children. We try to change their lives for the better. We care about every tiny achievement and failure. And constantly caring can quickly lead to compassion fatigue if we are not taking care of ourselves.
How many moms are setting aside time for self-care? How many moms are taking what they need so that they can continue to give? And how many moms are powering through today, only to burn out tomorrow? How many moms feel like they are on the verge of everything falling apart each and every day?
I am writing this post to encourage you to move past the mom guilt and take the time that you need (yes… need) to become a better mother, wife, woman. It is easy for me to type the encouragement. It is easy for you to read the encouragement. The hard part is making it happen on a regular basis.
Self care doesn’t have to mean extravagant girls’ weekends and shopping binges. Self care is more about the day to day mindset and small things that you do to decrease your stress levels and refill your compassion tank.
The social workers in this post gave 31 great pieces of advice that I encourage you to check out. But there were 3 themes that stood out to me in this article…
Setting boundaries is not the same as shutting everyone out, but you need to know your limits. You train people how to treat you whether you realize it or not – your kids, your spouse, your friends, your family, your coworkers, and even acquaintances in your community.
We all feel better when we feel like we are in control. We like to know what to expect, and we like to feel security in knowing that we can affect the situation that we are in. A lot of time a lack of control comes from a lack of boundaries, which quickly leads to the feeling of always being stressed out and overwhelmed. Take the time to rethink the boundaries you have drawn in your life, and allow yourself to make different decisions moving forward.
Self care is something that needs to stay at the forefront of your mind. You need to be thinking about it when writing your to do lists and planning out time to do things that you enjoy. Our lives are very busy, and if self care is something that we only do when we have free time, it will never happen! It has to be something that we carve out time for.
Being aware of your feelings and giving yourself room to feel them is also hugely helpful. As moms, we tend to put on a brave face for our children and get into the practice of suppressing our emotions… I am so mad, but I can’t yell. I am so proud, but I don’t want to cry. And I think that is hysterical, but I can’t laugh at their poor behavior. Prioritizing your self care means that you need to let those emotions out eventually – swap stories with a friend, cry on your husband’s shoulder, or even write them down.
When I have not spent time with friends and family in a while, I notice a big difference in myself. It is easy to get stuck in the same routines – pick up kids here, drop them off here, run these errands, do this work, be home in time for naps and bedtime, etc. Trying to squeeze in activities and play dates just seems like it will be draining and take too much extra effort. However, seeing those friends is often therapeutic and energizing! It’s okay to put aside productivity now and then for the sake of the important relationships in your life.
You need people to lean on now and again throughout your life, and you will feel good when you are able to return the favor as well. It is easy to lose touch, and it is difficult to stay close. Don’t let the day to day stand in the way of nurturing yourself.
For more on this topic, check out the full Staying Healthy & Self Care collections
Last year I decided to do something a little different for the holidays. I asked everyone on my side of the family to give my children gifts of Experiences instead of Toys. In the end it worked out, but I probably should have given some examples or suggestions along with this request.
At the time we had our house listed for sale, and I could not handle the thought of more “stuff” needing to be organized for each showing. So the request was really made more-so for my sanity. However, in the end, I think my kids enjoyed it even more than I did!
This article is written by Karissa Tunis
For more on this topic, check out the full Gift Giving collection
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The delivery drivers are at our house A LOT throughout the entire year. Between Amazon shopping, work material deliveries for both my husband and I, and relying on our weekly Home Chef delivery, we sincerely appreciate our delivery drivers! And when the holiday season hits, the packages pour in even more frequently! Which is why I love the idea of setting out something small to show our appreciation and help make their day just a little bit easier… Scroll down for a free delivery driver printable!…