“Of course you’re good-looking.” “You’re the best friend ever.” “Who wouldn’t want you on their team?” Is there a parent out there (including me) who hasn’t praised a child in order to make him or her feel better? Sometimes it’s true, and sometimes we say it because we just can’t stand to see them hurt. But our kids usually know the difference. We’ve missed the mark, and they tell us so. This kind of well-intentioned compliment doesn’t work….
Connectedness – How to Successfully Help Your Teen Get Through Puberty
For some reason unbeknown to most, there is very little in the way of advice or support for parents who have adolescent aged children. And even more so, information on how to successfully help your teen throughout the puberty phase.
It could be that after the initial tentative steps into parenthood, most people assume that they should be able to manage. After all, they’ve got their child through the ‘tying-of-the-shoe-laces-phase’, and teachers then take over in the learning field; what more is there to do after the child hits the school years?
I can totally understand this sentiment. Things are generally quite settled for the next few years – that is until puberty! Keep reading below to learn how to help your teen through puberty….
The Truth About Lies
Are you ever completely baffled by your kids? Like you don’t understand why they’re acting in a certain way? The one that always gets me is lying. I catch him lying, he knows he’s lying, he knows I know he’s lying…and he lies anyway. And keeps doing it. What is that? Read below to learn the truth about lies.…
Multiple Miscarriages and A Story with a Happy Ending
The first time I found out I was pregnant, I had just gotten home from work to our apartment. No where in my mind was I even thinking about what was yet to come… or the possibility of our hard emotional journey through multiple miscarriages.
I was changing out of my work clothes and into something more comfortable when I noticed my chest in the bedroom mirror. It looked different. And a lot bigger. Is it possible? Could I really be pregnant the first month we tried?…
Look for the Good in Other People in Moments of Tragedy
After the Boston Marathon bombing a few years ago, I heard someone say that their mother taught them to always look for the good people.
We live in a society where media is everywhere and always accessible. While there are many advantages to this, there are also a few negatives. The thing that I hate most is hearing all of the sad and tragic news ALL the time!
It’s good to be aware of what’s going on in our communities and around the world, but some days I feel like all I hear is tragedy. And when there is a major event like the Boston Marathon bombing, I feel like you can’t get away from it. Every news station reports on it all day long, and every news alert my phone receives is in reference to the horrific event.
This article is written by Karissa Tunis
For more on this topic, check out the full Tough Times collection
Continue reading this article below, or click play to listen to this article being read to you!
How Do You Look For The Good?
I understand that the networks and media companies profit off ratings, but I wish more of it would be censored. It’s gotten to the point that I hardly watch the news anymore when my children are in the room. And it’s becoming easier to get anxiety when I have to leave my house, or when I find myself in a large crowd. It’s scary to think that at any moment something crazy could happen that I have absolutely no control over. And if I dwell on it too much, it’s easy to get depressed and question the world we live in.
It’s crazy to think, that in this country, a lot of our tragedies are caused by 1 person, or a small group of people. Those few individuals can create utter chaos and extreme devastation for many, so I understand why it makes the news.
But, if you step back and follow this wise Mother’s advice, you will see that there are still good people out there. And, in most situations, the good people out-number the bad.
Set Your Focus
If you focused on the bombers and their accomplices, it’s all negative. But if you look for the people who ran to help, that offered assistance, you will see that the good outnumbered the bad.
When you focus on this, you realize that there is still HOPE.
When you hear about the heroes that stepped forward and ran into the danger to save others, you feel LOVE.
And when you hear about those that risked their lives to save an innocent child you feel APPRECIATION and ADMIRATION.
Moving Forward
If we focus on the good, it does not mean that we are belittling the severity of the situation; but we are finding a way to move forward. Putting my kids in bubbles is not a realistic option, although I sometimes wish it was! So I believe it is better to look for the good, and to give that the attention.
I read a quote by Mother Teresa that said
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.”
What an incredible challenge! And what a great simple point. It does start at home. It’s what we teach our children, what they learn in our schools, what the TV and the media are telling them, what movies and video games are portraying to them. But most importantly, it’s what WE as parents and guardians are teaching and focusing on. And it starts in our homes.
I want my kids to always look for the good, seek out the good, and surround themselves with good people. Hopefully then they will reduce their chances of being in a bad situation. But if one ever unfolds in front of them, I want their instinct to be good, and I hope that they will be able to help in a positive way.
For more on this topic, check out the full Tough Times collection
How to Help a Friend Survive the First Year after Pregnancy or Infant Loss
Watching a friend suffer the loss of a child or baby is one of the most difficult situations you may ever encounter in life. Surviving infant loss is one of the worst experiences a mother can go through. Miscarriages, loss, and death combined with what is typically a positive, joyous occasion puts a mother into a state of shock and despair, while their friends struggle to know what to do and say….
How to Have an Open Discussion about Tragedy with Children
We talk a lot about death in our family. I guess that goes with the territory of losing a child. But not in a morbid way. In a way that lets my children know it’s okay to talk about death, dying, grief. They are not afraid to ask questions, and they have a general understanding of what it means for someone to get sick and go away for ever. And they know, that while it is sad, it happens. It’s important to be able to have an open discussion about tragedy with children….
How to Connect With Your Teen – From a Teen’s Perspective
It’s no secret that the teen years are difficult. They’re hard for everyone! Parents, teachers, and even younger siblings that have a teenage brother or sister (believe me – I am the youngest of 3 kids, I have really lived through this!). But, most importantly, these years are hard on the teens themselves! However, there is also so much GOOD and beauty (between the braces and acne marks) that comes from being a teenager! Read below to discover how you can better understand and connect with your teen – all from a teenager’s perspective….
How to Make Your Life Easier (With Tweens/Teens)
If you aren’t having your tweens and teens cook dinner for the family regularly, you are doing them and yourselves a disservice. It really does make life easier.
In our house, this started out of desperation. I was in the car from school pickup through dinner time every day of the week with one girl or the other. And if I had to hear one more complaint about the lack of home cooked meals, I was going to lose my last marble.
Of course you want a from-scratch, hot meal on the table every night over which to leisurely dine and bond as a family. But you also have busy kids who can’t drive and need to go to voice lessons, swim practice, and so-and-so’s house to work on this week’s group project (oh, don’t EVEN get me started on group projects). How are you supposed to pull all of this off?
I’ll tell you how.
Each of your kids has at least one activity free evening home, right? And they are now old enough to stay home alone while you haul around their sibling(s), yes? (We started the stay-home-alone thing at age 12, but every house is different). Ok. Read below to learn my secret to making life easier….
Parenting Tips: How To Say No to Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind
I am an over-explainer. It’s a weird trait for an introvert, but I feel that my kids will benefit from a full explanation and understanding of situations, decisions, and circumstances. But sometimes the questions are just. Too. MUCH! My husband and I went to a parenting talk given by the brilliant psychologist, John Rosemond, many years ago. We learned a lot, but the simplest, most lasting take-away for me was his teaching on how to say “No” to kids.
He suggests that when you say “No”, and your child asks for a reason or explanation, one of the five following answers always fits the bill:…