Karissa Tunis

When you prepare for your baby, you make sure everything is in order, right down to your baby’s sleeping arrangements. You make sure that all the feeding supplies are sanitized and ready for use. That the dog is groomed and ready to meet his new sibling. You even make sure that you have washed her clothes, set up the changing table, and that you packed your hospital bag. (Take advantage of this free hospital bag checklist.) But what can you expect the newborn sleep schedule to actually be like?

As new (or new again) parents, we try to prepare for everything. But what we really and truly cannot prepare for, is the utter exhaustion of having a baby who is up all night!…

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You have followed all the steps, and maybe done the Shuffle for a week here and there. You have a baby who sleeps well. Then it happens. The dreaded baby sleep regression. Common at many ages and for many reasons, baby sleep regression is the single most popular baby sleep topic at Sleeplady.com. We have put together a handy list of articles with great advice. If you’re struggling with a sudden setback, scroll through for an article that is age-appropriate now. If things are going well, bookmark this page for later — there’s bound to be a moment in the future where you need a little extra help getting back your restful nights.

This article is written by Kim West
For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

Sleep Regression: Just a Phase?

We’ve all been there. Baby has been peacefully sleeping through the night, and, consequently, so is everyone else. Hooray! And then, out of the blue, your sweet baby is up at all hours, wanting to be soothed, fed, and crying. What happened? Many refer to these short episodes as a Baby Sleep Regression. Leading expert Dr. T. Berry Brazleton provides the explanation that these night wakings are the result of normal childhood development.

Continue reading here

When Will My Baby’s Sleep Regression End?

If you’re asking yourself this question, chances are that you’ve been short on sleep, and so has your very cranky, sleep-fighting baby. Baby sleep regressions are difficult for all of us, but thankfully most children (not all, but most) don’t experience every sleep regression. If they did, no one would sleep during the first two years!

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At 4 Months?

You’ve got the schedule down. Baby is FINALLY sleeping more… and then, WHAM! Suddenly she’s not. Welcome to what is commonly referred to as the 4 month sleep regression. Some may refer to this phase as increased wakefulness, but it all amounts to the same thing — you and baby have newly found your groove, and now baby just isn’t acting like herself.

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Pre-Toddler Sleep Regression

I’m not going to claim that all babies experience a sleep regression (or two), but most do. And if there is one sleep regression period that seems to be abundantly common, it’s when babies learn to crawl and/or pull themselves to a standing position. This is a huge step in their gross motor development, and opens an entirely unexplored world. Of course they don’t want to sleep, and therefore, parents experience some very common baby sleep problems.

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At 18 Months?

You were sleeping peacefully…and then you hear your toddler. He’s not just rustling around resettling. He’s screaming mad. Literally. As you drag yourself out of bed, you wonder to yourself what’s wrong? What could be causing your toddler sleep problems? Could this be two-year molars? An ear infection? Is he gassy from eating too much broccoli at dinner? Is his newfound walking (or running!) causing this?

The answer: It could truly be any of the above. But it could also be yet another sleep regression.

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The 2-Year Sleep Regression

Many parents breathe a sigh of relief once their child hits the toddler years. But then you’re dealing with molars, budding independence, and (for some) potty training. Logically, we think that development keeps moving forward, but when it comes to two-year-olds, you’ll notice that there’s a bit of backsliding as they learn new skills and grow up a bit, which includes the potential for another sleep regression.

Continue reading here

Remember

Whether you have an infant who has suddenly gone back to waking every two hours, or a toddler who is frequently up at night, sleep is on the horizon. Once you hit the six-month mark, consistent gentle coaching can help you get on a schedule that works for the whole family.

If you have already mastered The Shuffle, you can return to a shortened version to get back on track. If you haven’t done any sleep coaching, and would now like to address your child’s sleep, consider using The Shuffle after the regression. You can find help at The Sleep Lady through books, our courses, or a Certified Gentle Sleep coach online or near you..

For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

Featured Contributor: Kim West, LCSW-C The Sleep Lady

Kim is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been a practicing child and family therapist for more than 24 years. She is now the world’s foremost expert on child behavioral sleep and on a mission to help 1,000,000 families find sleep by 2020. With trained Gentle Sleep Coaches® (19 countries worldwide), free articles and guides, e-courses, and the bestselling book Good Night, Sleep Tight — tens of thousands of families from all over the world have found sleep again with The Sleep Lady’s gentle, proven sleep methods.

• Website: sleeplady.com
• Facebook: @TheSleepLady
• Instagram: @thesleeplady

Healthy Sleep really is a fascinating thing. It has the ability to help the body grow, heal, rejuvenate, and reset. When I was pregnant with my first child, I started to think more about sleep and its effects on our bodies. I, myself, have always been a night owl and never really required more than 5 – 6 hours of sleep per night. On the other hand, my husband requires at least 8 hours of sleep per night to function well. Being a pregnant mama, I was very concerned about my baby’s growth and development and the possibility of disruption if he/she didn’t get the required amount of sleep.

This article is written by Katie Strohecker
For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

Sleep Promoting Sleep = More Healthy Sleep

After being highly recommended, I started reading the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Marc is a pediatrician who presents strategies for solving and preventing sleep problems from infancy through adolescence. One of the biggest points I took away from the book was the concept of sleep promoting sleep. The idea that the longer the body is given the opportunity to sleep, the longer the body will want to sleep. Translation: early bedtimes are a key to healthy sleep habits! According to Weissbluth, well-rested children may be able to focus better, be calm, happy, and more manageable and do better in school, even having higher IQ’s.

On the other hand, poorly-rested, over tired children may have difficulty falling and staying asleep in the evenings. They may be cranky or bored, and difficult to manage. Inflexible, hyperactive, or shorter attention spans can also be signs of sleep deprived children. When they grow older, these kids may even develop stomach issues, or headaches, and possibly struggle in school.

The book mentions a number of other strategies that I went on to implement, which I will share in different growth phases: infant, toddler, preschool, and elementary. (My oldest child is in elementary school now, so I cannot attest to what may or may not work for adolescence yet.) I also want to mention a number of products I used to help my children sleep well. I will say, each child is different and sometimes it is a game of trial and error. Some of the strategies that worked well with my daughter did not work with my son and I had to find something else to help him get a good night’s sleep. The important thing was I didn’t throw in the towel and allow bad sleep habits to form.

Putting Baby to Sleep [birth-12 months old]

Temperature Regulation:

We live in an older home with radiant heat and no central air conditioning. It can be hot in the summer and cold in the winter. I use an indoor humidity monitor that reports the room temperature and humidity level so I can keep the room cool/warm enough to promote healthy sleep. Children do not sleep well when they are too hot or too cold. I have found 70-72 degrees to be a good sleeping temperature with proper sleepwear for the season. I also use a portable fan/heater to keep room comfortable and take with us on trips.

Swaddling Wrap:

My cousin told me about the Miracle Blanket well before I was even pregnant and I watched her use it on her 3 month old baby. It’s an amazing product and easily lengthens the amount of sleep in 2-6 month old babies. Check it out and watch a video on how to use it.

Swaddle Transition Blanket:

Once my children wanted to have their arms free from being swaddled, I needed to figure out how to wean them. For my daughter I did the “one arm free from swaddling at a time” weaning method. For my son, he had the “startle reflex” for much longer. I needed to find a product that allowed him to have more movement with his arms, but also kept him from waking up from the startle reflex.

Enter the Zipadee-Zip! You have to check this product out as well. It was developed by a mom who was having the same issue I was, and she ended up sewing her own sleep sack for her child. It is created in a modified star shape allowing the baby freedom to move their arms but still be inside the sack. My son wore this when he was 7-10 months old.

Cluster Feeding:

This is mostly directed towards breastfed babies. My son would eat non-stop from about 5-8pm from about birth to 2 months old. This really helped to fill up his belly so that he could sleep for a longer first stretch during the night.

6:30 Bedtime:

As my babies started to get out of the newborn phase and had dropped the 3rd late afternoon nap (5:00ish), I made sure they were in bed early. My daughter who was formula-fed would sleep a long stretch before waking to eat again. My son, who was breastfed would not sleep quite as long, before needing to eat. I could get him to sleep 6-hours before nursing. Often I would “dream feed”, meaning no lights on in the room, very quiet, and he was not even fully awake.

Put Baby to Bed Awake:

I was able to do this for the most part once my babies were out of the newborn phase (Let’s face it…sometimes they fall asleep while they are nursing/drinking a bottle and that’s okay – according to Dr. Weissbluth). Once my babies started to get in a routine, I would always lay them in their crib awake or at least drowsy. This allows babies to learn to self-soothe and put themselves back to sleep when they wake during the night or naps. When my son was swaddled, I noticed him turning his head from side to side while his eyes were closed. I looked it up and, sure enough, he was self-soothing.

Blackout shades:

My babies have always slept better in a very dark room. It also allows them to sleep longer, especially in the morning when the sun comes up much earlier than you want them to wake. It also helps to have a dark room when implementing an early bedtime when it’s light outside (in the summertime). I use the accordion-style fabric shades but black-out curtains could work also.

Cry It Out:

The book mentions this method of sleep training as a supported strategy but it should not be implemented before 4 months of age. There are a lot of differing opinions on this method. I think the success has a lot to do with the baby’s personality and the mother’s commitment. There are also softer versions of the method, which I used with my babies. I encourage you to research this topic before deciding on implementing with your baby.

Lovey/Teddy Bear:

Implementing a lovey or teddy bear (with thread eyes/nose not buttons) around 9 months can act as a soothing aid for babies when you are not in the room. The attachment to one particular item can begin at this age and last well into elementary age and beyond sometimes.

20 Free Printable Bedtime Charts

For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

How to Get a Toddler to Sleep [1-2.5 years old]

Sleep sack/Wearable blanket:

I never used this with my daughter, but I did with my son. We struggled to regulate my daughter’s room temperature in the winter the most, and ended up using a portable heater and blankets. I lost a lot of sleep checking on her throughout the night and putting the blanket back on her. For my son, I did some research and found that sleep sacks have different “TOG” ratings (range from 0.5-3.0) which basically tells you how warm they are. I found a 2.5 TOG sack for my son in the winter, and he and I both got the healthy sleep we needed!

Bed transition:

[crib to toddler/twin/full bed] Neither of my children were climbers, so I was able to make the transition when I felt we were both ready. However, if your toddler is climbing out of the crib, that is a safety concern and you should make the transition to a toddler bed ASAP. I was able to transition my children when they were past their 2nd birthday.

One thing I have found to make the transition smooth is allowing the child to be a big part of it. We took my daughter to IKEA and let her pick out her bed. Then she helped put it together and really took ownership of it and was so excited to sleep in it. We switched her from the crib to a twin bed that we had modified the height by trimming the legs. She also had a rail on one side that slid under the mattress to prevent her from rolling out. The other side of the bed was against the wall, and we made sure to put the bed in the same spot in the room where her crib was.

Safety gate:

Once our daughter was in twin bed, we needed to make sure she was safe and not able to roam the house if she woke up during the night. She was used to a dark room and sleeping with the door shut, so we put a knob lock on the inside door knob so she would not be able to open the door. Later on, we switched to a spring-loaded baby gate across the doorway. As time progressed and she would stay in her room on her own, we moved the baby gate to the top of the stairs.

Bedtime routine:

This is so important for children and ensuring healthy sleep. And keeping the same routine, except for a few special occasions, can really foster healthy sleep habits. Our routine has always been bath, read books, sing a song, saying the same phrase at bedtime (“I love you-it’s time to go to sleep.”) Check out this free bedtime routine printable.

Music:

I have used music to help my children fall asleep since they were infants. I use it during naps and at bedtime at night. For nap, I play the music (could be instrumental or soothing vocals) on a repeated loop. But at bedtime, I just allow the CD to play through all the songs once. I use a Pandora channel with my daughter and after a while it stops playing on it’s own.  

Naps:

By this age your child should be transitioning from two naps to one longer nap (usually occurring sometime between 12:30-4:00) My daughter took a long nap from 12:30-3:30, but my son usually only sleeps 1.5-2 hours. My philosophy is regardless of then being awake or asleep, they are in their crib/bed during naptime. The book makes a point that there needs to be 4 hours between waking from nap and bedtime. Sticking to this rule means you may have to wake your child from nap if they are sleeping late.

Early bedtime 7:00:

It is really important that you and your partner/spouse are in agreement when it comes to your philosophy of sleep and your children. It may require you to leave parties, holiday gatherings, or other events early to get your children home and into bed at a decent time. Family may question the choices you are making and find it ridiculous. Friends may disagree with your philosophy. Our culture doesn’t value sleep and early bedtimes for children as much as it should.

Preschool Sleep Routine [2.5-5 years old]

Ok-to-wake clock:

There are a number of models to choose from, but the premise is the same. You set the time when you feel it is reasonable for your child to get out of bed and start the day. The clock lights up or shows a sun and signals the child that it is “OK to wake”. If they wake up and see the moon/stars and the light is not on, they know that it is still time to be sleeping and they should stay in bed. Amazing product, especially for “rule following” kids.

Naps Disappear:

When your child is preschool age, at some point they no longer need the afternoon nap. One tell-tale sign is if bedtime is a struggle and the child is having a hard time falling asleep. Once the nap is removed from the day, an earlier bedtime can be easily implemented.

Keep the bedtime routine that has been established

Anticipate needs:

Children this age are notorious for prolonging bedtime. They need to use the bathroom, get a snack/drink, read one more book, etc. Anticipate these needs and address them before you are at the point in the bedtime routine where it is time for sleep. You do not want the bedtime to get pushed back due to the “needs” of the child.

Music:

My children still use music to help them fall asleep. Although they can fall asleep without it, it happens faster when it is used.

Nightlight:

Children may be aware of the dark more now and may request light to be on in their room to alleviate some of their fear. Use a night light that is not too bright and place it away from where the child is sleeping.

Bedtime 7:00-7:45:

Be consistent.

Healthy Sleep for Elementary Age Kids [6-10 year olds]

Limit screen time and rowdy behavior before bed:

“Wired is tired” – the hyper, crazy point many kids hit around their bedtime is a sign of them being over-tired.

Continue with a bedtime routine:

Baths might change to showers, read chapter books together, brush teeth, etc. You may allow more independence with this as children get older.

Early Bedtime 7-8:00:

Putting children to bed before they are overtired will lead to longer, healthy sleep.

3 Questions: Bedtime can be a great time for genuine conversations with your children. It can be insightful about what is going on while your child is at school and with their friends. It is healthy for your child to share concerns, issues, etc. Build this time into your bedtime routine so it doesn’t prolong or postpone bedtime. Three questions you can ask your child every night: What is something that made you smile today? Was there something that made you cry today? What is something you learned today? (These questions can be asked at an earlier age also.)

Diffuser: A diffuser is a tabletop humidifier in which you can diffuser essential oils to help children relax and drift off to sleep. They can also help your child sleep better when they are sick. There are a number of “safe” essential oils for children which I encourage you to research or speak to an aromatherapist about before implementing with your own child(ren).

For more information on strategies to solve sleep problems and how to promote healthier sleep habits, I recommend you read the book I reference in this article, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

Featured Contributor: Katie Strohecker

• Website: milestonefamilyexpos.com
• Facebook: @pafamilyexpo
• Facebook: @lancasterbabyshower
• Instagram: @milestone_family_expos/

If you are a parent who strongly agrees with nighttime parenting or sleep training, then this proposal is for you.

As I was driving home from my son’s most recent doctors visit, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions after his pediatrician told me that I should consider sleep training my baby. At first, my thoughts revolved around the notion that sleep training contradicts my beliefs on nighttime parenting; but after much reflection, I found that notion to be false. Lets define the purpose of nighttime parenting and sleep training.

This article is written by Sandra Noojin
For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

Sleep Vocabulary

Nighttime Parenting: Parenting a child by engaging in any activity that the child needs for him to build enough security to fall asleep.

Sleep Training: Teaching your child the skills needed to sooth himself to sleep.

I completely agree with both of these definitions; and if I agree, then why is it that I have rejected sleep training? Well, what I have come to realize is that I have not rejected sleep training; but rather the current commonly used sleep training methods available.

Sleep Training Methods that I have encountered

1. contradict my intuitive responses.
2.  are not individualized to my baby’s needs.
3. often do not consider teething, separation anxiety and developmental milestones.
4.  do not regard nighttime parenting as essential. Many babies need to be parented to sleep and parented back to sleep.

The goal of sleep training is to teach children the skills required to successfully self-sooth. Helping them learn these skills involves nighttime parenting, time, patience, practice, and trial & error. This is why I am proposing a new option that combines nighttime parenting and sleep training. I have named this the Individualized Nighttime Parenting Sleep Training Guidelines.

[Read: Sleep Training at 4 Months – Why it Might Be Better to Wait]

The Concept

Thus far, I have not encountered any sleep training program that offers suggestions on how to help parents create an individualized sleep training program for their child. As an early childhood educator, to ensure that every student succeeds academically, teachers must individualize lesson plans based on two very important considerations. The first consideration is for the skills that each child has already mastered. The second is the best way to foster each child’s strengths and needs.

The same principles should apply to sleep training. The sleep training methods currently available will be successful when using them for children who have a specific type of temperament; but there is a whole population of children who are not accommodated for. If you are looking for another option, keep reading!

Individualized Nighttime Parenting Sleep Training Guidelines

Before creating an Individualized Nighttime Parenting Sleep Training Program:

Set realistic expectations for your child.

This program is not meant to be a quick solution. This is a gradual process based on a program that caregivers will design to meet the needs of their child. Remember to be flexible; remain patient; smile; stay positive; and praise even the smallest progress.

The goal is to teach children the skills needed to self sooth. 

Nighttime parenting is required.

Answer the following questions:

What is your child’s temperament? Are they easy going or strong-willed?

Is your child able to communicate when he is hungry, has a soiled diaper, or needs comfort?

What self soothing skills has your child mastered? (Example – sucking on fingers or toes? Placing pacifier in own mouth?) And, if the child has mastered self soothing skills, do these actions actually sooth the baby?

How is your child currently soothed to sleep? (Example – breastfeeding, bottle, rocking, or singing)

What are his sleep associations?

Where does your child currently sleep? (Example – crib or co-sleeping?)

How does your child react when he is placed in the crib? Are they happy or reluctant?

Do you have a nighttime routine in place?

Is your child ready for sleep training?

How do you know?

Is your child teething?

Is your child about to reach any developmental milestones?

Could your child be experiencing separation anxiety?

Any other considerations about your child before sleep training?

What is the end goal for your child? (Example – sleep in their crib all night? Maybe sleep in their crib for half of the night?)

Revisit and reflect on the answers to these questions daily to note and address any changes. 

How to Create an Individualized Nighttime Parenting Sleep Training Program

Establish a bedtime routine. 

A calm and predictable bedtime routine helps children transition into a sleepy state.

Help the child create positive associations with the crib. 

This may take time. Place your child in the crib and immediately provide verbal praise. Then partake in a reinforcing activity such as reading a book or engaging in fun social interactions. Do the activity for as long as the child will tolerate it. The goal is to gradually increase the time spent in the crib until the child intrinsically enjoys it. If the child spends only a second in the crib today; aim for a second a half tomorrow.

[Read: Promoting Healthy Sleep]

Determine whether your child is ready for sleep training. 

Once you establish a bedtime routine and positive associations with the crib, determine whether your child is developmentally ready for sleep training by reflecting on your answers to the above questions.

[Read: Sample Sleep Schedules]

Transfer or establish positive sleep associations. 

If a child is accustomed to sleep associations involving parental support such as nursing or rocking, then these dependent sleep associations need to be slowly replaced with other sleep associations independent from you. When deciding what type of sleep associations to replace established ones with; ask yourself “how is my child currently soothed to sleep?” This will help guide you when choosing new associations. For example, if you decide to replace nursing with a security item, such as a blanket or a toy, then this blanket or toy needs to be used during every nursing session until the child associates the item with the nursing experience.This process will take time and will involve trial and error. Just remember to work on replacing one sleep association at a time.

Slowly Fade Away. 

After the new sleep associations are successfully created and the child has developed a positive association with the crib, it is time to slowly fade your presence. This will also take time.

Give your child the support he needs. 

Even if your child has made progress, expect there to be nights when he needs extra nighttime parenting. Do not do the program when your child is about to reach a developmental milestone or on nights that your child is experiencing teething pain, separation anxiety, or insecurities; rather, focus on providing your child with the comfort that you are fully present when he needs you.

Provide lots of positive verbal and physical reinforcement. 

Make the nighttime routine a positive experience to encourage the development of a positive attitude towards transitioning into a sleep state and staying asleep.

If you strongly agree with nighttime parenting or sleep training and have not yet discovered a sleep training method that works for you; follow these guidelines to create a successful Individualized Nighttime Parenting Sleep Training Program for your child.

For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

Featured Contributor: Sandra Noojin

Sandra Noojin is an educator, blogger, researcher, wife and mother. Read more of her work at sandrabasile.com

• Website: thisdarlingtale.com
• Instagram: @thisdarlingtale

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My husband Ken and I have often shared parenting stories back and forth with our friends, because what parent honestly has it all figured out? What parent can’t take some comfort in hearing another parent’s horror story, and even better—championing a parenting success! Our girls are 7 and 9-years-old now, but we still refer to their potty training as “the dark months”. And their crib-to-bed transition is still our favorite success to date! So how did we transition from crib to bed without any tears?

This article is written by Nicole Kilgore
For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

When my husband and I decided we wanted baby #2, one of our first thoughts was how it would affect our then 14 month old. One of the items on the VERY long list, was transitioning her from her crib to a bed. For whatever reason, my husband and I had our minds set on not having two children in cribs. Perhaps it was because we didn’t have, and/or didn’t want to purchase, another crib! But how do you get a child that small to sleep in a bed? Even more so, how do you keep them safe? With 9 months to decide, we put the issue on the back burner.

Fast forward 8 months….

I was heavily pregnant with a very active toddler. The idea of getting her potty trained ‘before the baby’ was thrown out the window. (Anyone else with me on the horrors of potty training?!?!) But we still needed a solution to changing the sleeping arrangements.

For those of you who have been pregnant, you know that those last few weeks can be highly emotional. For me, I was constantly worrying about how baby #2 would affect our sweet little Lily. I was petrified she would feel pushed aside, second best, etc.

One of my biggest fears was taking her from her crib—the only place she had ever slept— would make her feel even more displaced. At this point I should mention that our Lily slept through the night at 5 weeks. I’m talking 8 pm to 7 am. We knew how lucky we were and knew that it would probably not happen again. With a newborn coming shortly, sleepless nights were imminent, especially if we were fighting with a toddler to stay in her bed.

To make matters more difficult, our daughter decided she wanted a purple race car bed. Nothing else would do. We had to get a purple race car bed for Miss Lily!

20 Free Printable Bedtime Charts

For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

So, How Did We Transition from Crib to Bed?

My husband Ken is a handy guy. He knows how to fix anything, and if he doesn’t know, he will teach himself.  As a CADD designer by trade, Ken sat down and drafted plans for a purple race car bed for our Lily.

He made the bed low to the ground, with high sides for safety. It was gorgeous; our daughter loved it! In fact, Lily loved it so much that going to bed was a treat because she could drive off to dreamland. She never attempted to get out; she never fought us about going to bed. Even better? She didn’t want anything to do with her baby sibling’s crib because she was a big girl!

With a few weeks left in my pregnancy, we had not only accomplished getting Lily into her big girl bed and sleeping through the night, but the transition process made her feel special. She didn’t feel displaced by baby, and she kept right on sleeping through the night. Double win for us!

As I said, our girls are now 7 and 9. We still don’t have it all figured out and we still have epic parenting fails. I hope our race car bed story can help other parents with their little one’s crib-to-bed transition. More importantly, I hope this inspires other parents to shout out their successes for others to hear!

Lily with her brand new race car bed at 23 months old!

Little sister Shelby with the same bed 2 years later!

For more on this topic, check out the full Sleep collection

Featured Contributor: Nicole Kilgore

Nicole is a dental hygienist with over 17 years in the field. She is passionate about children’s dental health, and educating the public as to how it is linked to overall health. And it just so happens that her husband, Ken Kilgore, also shares an interest on keeping kids healthy and safe — he makes customized children’s beds to help a child transition from crib to big kids bed in a fun way.

• Email: Nrkilgore82@gmail.com
• Website: TradecraftSpecialties.com
• Facebook: Tradecraft Specialties